TW: mentions of eating disorders and chronic illness
there’s much i’ve wanted to say regarding the conversation around ariana grande that i haven’t felt comfortable doing since A) i’m generally trying to de-center celebrities as the only avenue through which i engage with societal problems and B) i’d like to retain some degree of mental stability as discussing anything online anymore has become a nightmare, but i do want to say this much in light of recent news
while i personally haven’t struggled with an ED before and don’t intend for this account of mine to downplay the ones from those who have struggled, i do live with a chronic illness (sickle cell to be exact) and feel there’s a lot i can attest to about how much of my condition i allow others to perceive, especially with how misunderstood sickle cell still is
for those who don’t know, i’ll spare you the full medical rundown, but sickle cell has essentially made it so that my body is hyper-focused on producing red blood cells that won’t die out too fast…to the point where it neglects other vital functions, like making sure i’m growing/developing at a normal rate for someone my age
as a result, i’ve always been a lot thinner than those in my cohort, and it was especially hard for me as a kid given the complications and accommodations i had to juggle within a school setting, from gym teachers noticing me tiring out much faster than everyone else, to constantly making trips to the bathroom or water fountain, to tests that had to be rescheduled on account of appointments and hospital visits
i nearly went through all of my K-8 years keeping my condition a secret from anyone that wasn’t a close friends, teacher, or a nurse (the latter two for obvious safety reasons), but in 8th grade, i decided to finally make it known by doing a science presentation on sickle cell
i don’t remember what expectations i had for my classmates’ response, but i do remember how respectful and understanding they were in asking questions about the disease and how it impacts me personally. a few of them even told me that they had taken notice of the signs i’d described, but weren’t really sure if they had any place bringing it up
since then, i’ve had to broaden my knowledge of sickle cell out of necessity, given it disproportionately affects black people and can lead to medical racism if not careful, but i’d also like to believe the understanding and respect i was shown in that singular moment was the first step in developing a better relationship and understanding of my health
so for people online to not only deny ariana that same grace with whatever health issues she’s possibly going through, but treat the subject as if it’s just another “scandal” or talking point to challenge others’ morality, has been very disheartening and frankly repulsive to witness
i’m glad she’s taking some much needed time off after how busy these last 4-5 years have been for her, but this should’ve been a decision that she or those in her inner circle needed to reach on their own volition, not because the general public is still unequipped to have nuanced conversations about health and appearances
there’s a lot more i can say but i don’t want to harp on this anymore than i need to, plus i’m sure there are other voices out there that can say this more eloquently. i just wish people would tread more carefully about stuff like this